WELLESLEY IS THE WORST

PARKING

2009-07-02T09:54:00.007-04:00

meters on grove street

Important things getting done, yeah GO Wellesley!
That old chubby meter man needs more to do, so good job on that.

What should be done is regulating the assholes who frequent Truly Yogurt. Where all rules of the road are OFF. Park in the middle of the fucking the street it's ok we all understand you are in need of a tasty frozen treat like asap. What you can also do is park on that side street there right in front of the stop sign, or better yet just make that whole side street one giant parking lot.

But don't, OMG DO NOT park in the large public library parking lot viewing distance from this yogurt shop. Not only will you have to walk a couple feet but I heard that hooligans hang out there. Young, fancy car driving 16 year old hooligans. Beware, they throw eggs.

ps. what year is it, who the fuck eats frozen yogurt

NICE ART

2009-06-09T08:58:00.014-04:00

I went into Starbucks on Central Street yesterday while leaving the retards at CVS pharmacy to figure out their jobs. Walked up to the counter and ordered my very simple iced drink and stood back to gaze at the splendid art work.

um are you serious Starbucks?

I quickly read the bio - not under 10, not mentally challenged
AND ALL OF THE ARTIST'S BUSINESS CARDS WERE GONE!

FYI

2009-05-20T10:17:00.002-04:00

There is still a lot of hate in our hearts for Wellesley, we are just really busy with our awesome lives.

ps. FUCK PARADES.

NO BUTTS FOR YOU

2009-04-21T10:01:00.004-04:00

Little white haired man who works here - YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE - I have so much hate in my heart for you. Don't roll your eyes at me because I don't know that its push debit button twice, then swipe card, then push button again, followed by pressing the green button twice. I DONT WANT TO PLAY SIMON IN ORDER TO GET SOME GOD DAMN CIGARETTES. Also you know what would be just peachy - if you could place the butts on the counter where i can reach them, no more of this making me reach for them you pervert. I understand you probably have to deal with some obnoxious Wellesley pricks all day everyday but seriously i smile and say my please and thank yous every time, DONT DICK ON ME. Also your air pump doesn't work and the secret button on the side is not a secret anymore.

DEAR DIARY

2009-03-31T17:46:00.002-04:00

You know what I hate? When youre just trying to pick up your husband, whos back from his trip to the new VC firm outside Seattle, and your iPhone reception is poor so you cant figure out if that new asian fusion restaurant is in the back bay or south end and you just realized that you left too much tip for the maid when all of a sudden this gorilla police man is yelling at you to move and you just try to ignore him by rolling up your windows -thank god for tints!- and he doesnt go away, so you have to move but then hes yelling about blocking lanes or laws or something and whatever, my mercedes is a V8, it doesnt go slow, so you accidentally sort of almost hit him and he opens your door but its cold and you forget your fur so you dont want to go outside, so you just drag him along, because well I cant control how fast my car goes!!1 and then you get arrested for something or other. Just a horrible poignant day! And to think, I actually have to go to court for this and stand next to or near CRIMINALS!! Sigh. Spa day ASAP

http://www.boston.com/yourtown/news/wellesley/2009/03/idling_outside_logan_wellesley.html

LEGIT

2009-03-27T13:15:00.006-04:00

LOL

WTF

2009-03-27T09:03:00.047-04:00

WTF SUPREME YESTERDAY!!
Good times, and good directing of traffic up a dead end st.
------------------------------------------------------------------

I will be updating this throughout the day for your listening pleasure.

bombs over wellesleeey
hey welleslay babay i got yer monay
things are endless today; suggestions are always welcome

DOUCHEBAGS GALORE

2009-03-12T10:12:00.018-04:00

Tuesday I was in one of my least favorite Wellesley places, Roche Brothers. All I had to do was run in and grab some chicken for the meal I was preparing that evening but getting there at 5pm I knew it was going to be a pain in my ass. Why is it that everyone in that store has to stand directly in the middle of an aisle unaware that they're in the way while their cart is 10ft behind them intruding another shopper's space?

When I got to the register to pay for my eats an old lady was in front of me freaking out about how her dish soap box could not, I repeat COULD NOT touch any of the other groceries fortheloveofgawd. I'm surprised she didn't demand the RB worker to fetch another employee to double wrap that shit in both paper and plastic and ship it out to her house so it didn't have any moment to even look in the direction of the other groceries. And even more bothersome to me - why are you able to place groceries in your cart as you shop but most of you are unable to push this cart out to the parking lot. Is this a service Roche Brothers demands? Were customers having issues getting to their car or returning their cart that Roche Bros had to step in and be like WE'LL HANDLE THIS.

GET LESS LAZY
So after that delightful experience I walked with all my bags in tote back to my car like a big girl, took a nice deep breath and patted myself on the back for not verbally abusing anyone. To only pull out to this mess:

The car in front of me was stopped waiting to pull out onto Linden Street while you can see the traffic was backed up due to that dinky set of lights. Then old dude in the black car (see arrow) pulls up to the next car's bumper even though traffic is at a stand still completely aware that you could let someone from the plaza out, if you had a soul.

Way to go Wellesley, I love you more and more each day.

DOG EAT DOG

2009-03-03T15:28:00.005-05:00

Only in Wellesley…

“The dog wars of Wellesley will be fought out at the polls on Tuesday.

On one side is a contingent who say the leash laws at Perrin Park are too strict. On the other is a group that says the park is fouled by dogs running free. (+2 for use of the word fouled)

At stake are two seats on the Natural Resources Commission, an agency charged with watching over the town’s parks and trails. The seats are rarely contested, but this year two incumbent’s face challenges from two newcomers who are unhappy with the commission’s strict leash regulations at the park…

Commission member Heidi Gross, who is up for reelection,..does not welcome this particular influx of potential commissioners.

‘‘We need people with expertise in particular fields,’’ said Gross, who is a certified landscape planner, designer, historian, and a dog owner. ‘‘We don’t get on-the-job training, and it’s not just if you’re green, you fit. You need some skills.’’ – ooooh SNAP!!!!!!!!! She totally said you guyz have NO skills!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey heres a compromise: all dogs under 1feet tall do not need to be leashed. This means small dogs are free to run, yip, bite etc.. and being so small in stature, the only human being in their mouth range are babies… and I mean, who cares about babies anyways.

On a related noted, WITW recently suffered a death in the family: Squeek was a wonderful friend, companion and certified protector. And as a frequent visitor of many Wellesley parks, we hope this silliness is resolved soon and people realize that animals, like children, require restrictions - for their and all others safety and sanity.

Squeekerboo always

"If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very very few people."
(James Thurber)

"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet."
(Edith Wharton)

TWO LANES

2009-02-13T12:07:00.003-05:00

ATTENTION WELLESLEY: Between 7:30-8:30am that parking lane on rt.16 there, YOU CAN DRIVE IN IT. There are signs that say this is ok, read them and get your car over to the left so I can get by. You are not a driving hero if you block that lane you are a driving asshole who is causing even more traffic in the morning, get fucked.

Where the drama begins - ooh the race is on.
Where the drama escalates - stay to your side whores.

And if you park in this lane in the morning, I will stab you.

Just sayin.

SENIORITY RULES

2009-02-10T18:01:00.006-05:00

A Wellesley selectman has proposed building a new $5.8mil stand alone center for "seniors to meet and hold programs and other activities. The site, which is in the center of town and within walking distance of a number of senior housing clusters..holds what used to be the American Legion house."

Now, WITW is all for keeping seniors confined and as far the fuck away from anything involving a steering wheel and pedals, but dumping 6mil into a new project when you already have a perfectly legimate place to hold senior shindigs, and not to mention THIS, is, well, Wellesley-ish.

disclaimer: I love senior citizens and cherish my non-driving related memories of my grandparents

BRIDGING THE GAP

2009-02-04T10:51:00.005-05:00

Breaking news... the Rt 16 bridge...is.... open?

"The ramp from Route 9 west to Route 16 has been re-opened today, allowing motorists to exit Route 9 at the Wellesley Hills Library onto Washington Street. Workers have also temporarily repaved the bridge itself and removed a majority of the barriers.."

And this, a mere 4 days after WITW lamented its Big Dig-esque timeline.

But dont go planning your suicide leaps just yet, for this update appears to be lipstick on a pig as the news alert explains:

"Work on the bridge has not been completed, however, and the bridge will again be paved when the project is completed sometime this spring."

Oh.

WITW 1
Rt 16 bridge 2

NO THANKS

2009-02-04T09:09:00.007-05:00

I've never lived in a town where the majority of people you let go while driving don't give the THANK YOU, until I moved to Wellesley. What is with you people?! You should all raise your cell phone holding hands to me because I am the only car in this town that understands oh hey I'm sitting in traffic anyways I might as well let this one car out, and you snub me. And to that I say...

I've started a flickr group so anyone can join in the fun. If you spot someone driving like a douchebag or giving you the NO THANKS, lets see it. I've noticed that people HATE when they look in their rear view and see someone taking pictures of the back of their car, it's a rewarding feeling.

Or you can email us! wellesleystheworst@gmail.com

DOUCHEBAG DRIVING

2009-02-03T12:37:00.010-05:00

Douchebag driving of the ~~week~~ day goes to a number of halfwits traveling towards the the Grove Street / Washington Street junction this morning around 8:30am.

Upon getting into my car – parked on Grove – I attempted to merge out onto the street. There is a relatively quick light at the intersection, so its natural to speed up and try and make it before the ominous yellow.

Whats NOT natural is not letting someone – who has their blinker on – out into the roadway for not ONE but TWO light cycles. These moronic retards not only sped at 87mph trying to catch the light, MOST OF THEM DIDN’T, causing me to sit through another light cycle waiting for them to move their stupid asses so I could get onto the road. Not only that, they all started off WELL behind me, but in their hastiness to get their twits to Dana Hall or make that spa appointment, I was stuck on Grove for a solid five minutes. Theres lots of productive things you can do in 5 minutes. SITTING IN YOUR CAR WATCHING A BUNCH OF TWATFACES ATTEMPT TO DRIVE IS NOT ONE OF THEM.

Wellesley drivers on Grove this morning: get fucked.

Disclaimer: the volvo was not a participant in the douchebaggery, but the SUV in front of it, along with about 18 other non-pictured vehicles were.

DOUCHEBAG DRIVING

2009-01-30T14:20:00.009-05:00

Douchebag driver of the week goes to this spazz...

1/29/09 5:50pm Rt16

Not surprising that the bad driving went down in the same spot as last week's DBD. This time I was heading in the opposite direction on Rt16, that same set of lights, when this driver in the right lane decided that it wasn't moving quick enough and it was time to cross on over to the left lane without looking. After slamming on my brakes it was only appropriate that I slam on my horn which lead the driver to raise their hands in the air like what did I do??

Here is what you did:

You thought, while driving up to that set of lights, oh man I so don't want to be behind someone stuck taking a left onto 135 so I'm gonna stay over in the right lane until it turns green then cruise on over to the left lane thus not having to (god forbid) wait behind anyone.

Lesson you need to learn:

There is a green arrow for that left lane which lets the cars in front take a turn immediately, leaving me as car number two to proceed forward down the left lane freely without waiting. Until douches like you come creeping on over.

Fingers crossed that you date a super crazy and one day some of THIS happens to you.

YOGA

2009-01-30T09:37:00.000-05:00

You know what really grinds my gears...YOGA FARTS.

I get it; ooh you're so yoga right now, stretching all in the moment and tooting during this time isn't supposed to bother people around you. Well it does old lady with the short dark hair who came in LATE the last meditation class, it does. Somewhat new to yoga now I’m not so sure I want to open myself up to a world where people can’t control their own bodily functions. Seriously, why can you not hold that in? I’m lactose intolerant; my body is like a mecca of all fart types and I am a champion of keeping that business under control. Not only is your farting disruptive to the entire class but I’m still in the crucial (childish) stage where farts are funny and you passing gas makes me giggle aloud, then the disturbing asshole crown gets passed over to me and I’m down for that. Take your yoga anarchist ways elsewhere lady.

AND so help me god if you fall asleep during the 15 minute mediation period at the end of class AGAIN. I have already coordinated with my roommate a plan of attack that may or may not involve ear flicks and if needed, hockey punches.

On a positive note I do enjoy Laughing Dog Yoga and their instructors...just not when they cancel class because of rain.

BRIDGE TO NOWHERE

2009-01-29T15:35:00.000-05:00

Dear Rt 16 Bridge,

I understand that we've all given up on the dream of flying cars by 2010, and thus bridges still remain a daily necessity. Without them, we'd be force to walk/drive inches or even many feet around obstacles that aren't necessarily connected together.

However, when one small, innocent looking little bridge has been undergoing a makeover since, oh, 1987, causing congestion on an already hellish roadway, something may be wrong.

A little snippet of the mind-blowing intelligence powering this project..

"...told Selectmen Monday that the latest delay in the now five-year-old project to rebuild the bridge is the discovery that two beams were “set wrong” on the east-bound side of the bridge by the previous contractor. Two other beams are also cracked, said Brooks."

Rule 1 of bridge making: Put things down to connect 2 places
Rule 2 of bridge making: Make sure things you use dont break

F and F.

Thanks Wellesley for amazing acumen in hiring a stellar set of contractors.

RUNNERS

2009-01-29T10:56:00.000-05:00

I hope you all slipped on ice this morning.

DOUCHEBAG DRIVING

2009-01-23T09:14:00.001-05:00

There is nothing that I hate more than driving in Wellesley. All the winners just pulling out onto a street without looking, everyone missing the concept of what merging is and of course always having the right of way at all times - these douchebag driving posts will be made whenever a true jackass is spotted.

This morning driving on Rt.16/Rt.135 - there are two lanes, the right is for right turns only staying on 135, the left lane is for cars going straight and the occasional left turn accompanied by a late left turn signal. At this set of lights if you cruise down the right lane (which is usually moving faster than the left in the morning) just to then slam on your brakes and cut off someone in the left lane, you are a douchebag.

So my douchebag driver of the week goes to this guy:
[click image for LARGER view]

Congratulations you got three cars ahead from where you started and you also probably don't satisfy your uppity Wellesley wife which is why you drive like a jackass.

If you spot this car (license plate 7782 GD), give him a honk-honk from me.

AMARIN THAI

2009-01-22T13:17:00.000-05:00

Dear Amarin of Thailand -

I live walking distance from your location in Wellesley and would order from your establishment quite frequently. It is understandable that English may not be your language of choice but seriously how can you mess up my order EVERY SINGLE TIME. That's not even the worst offense you have thrown at me, here are the rest:

I request extra peanuts and either get none; charged for extra, extra being at most 20 peanuts; get peanut sauce even though I enunciate like a son-of-a-bitch peeeannnnutsss; or instead get an ingredient I requested not be in my dish (ie. mushrooms).
Your weekly dinner hours (5:00pm - 9:45pm) are a lie. Don't say you'll be open until 9:45 if when I call (before 9pm on numerous occasions) you pick up the phone and say closed. Dick move man, dick move. Change your website/window hours to read 5pm - when our cooks get lazy.
Yes granted I may be a picky eater but asking for no mushrooms shouldn't cut my order's portion size in half.

For these reasons I will not be ordering from you guys anymore, I am happy to spend my $12 a week for Thai food across the street at kick-ass Lemon Thai! They give me almost too many extra free peanuts and that is a beautiful thing. Oh plus they smile, get on that.